I recently changed my Instagram bio to “coach”. This subtle but important change in language (and we know that language matters) is because rather than just being a hypnobirthing teacher my intention is to support you to realise your own potential. That is what a coach does. So that is what I’m stepping into.
One of the ways that I do this is by teaching you a range of tools and techniques that you can utilise throughout your pregnancy and on the day that you give birth. However, I want to be crystal clear with you in that if that is all you are looking for, please go to your local library or download a tonne of podcasts, save yourself the cash and learn that yourself. Tools and techniques are not going to get you through this event alone.
Holistic Pregnancy Support
If you want to work with me, I take that as a green light that you are looking to prepare for your birth holistically. I’m talking mind, body and soul. I want you to truly explore your hopes and dreams for what I believe is one of the most important days of your life. And I want you to be really honest with yourself about how you will feel if those hopes and dreams don’t come to fruition.
What stories are you going to tell yourself if you don’t have an intervention free, painless and smooth vaginal birth with the chorus to your favourite song playing just as your beautiful baby crowns and makes their entrance into the world?
Don’t get me wrong, that can happen. To be perfectly honest, I’d even go as far to say that with the right preparation and trust in yourself, it is likely. However, as a culture we have really abandoned our deep innate knowledge of how birth works. Sadly, over many many years we have lost our trust in ourselves to birth our babies. And so, before you even get round to convincing yourself that you can do this… You might find that you are convincing everyone around you first. That could include your most treasured loved ones, your birth partner and your care providers.
I want you to walk your pregnancy knowing that no-one (and I mean no-one – not me, not your midwife, not the wifie down the road) cares more about your birth than you do. That’s not to say that we don’t care. But your birth is an event that you will return to in your mind, for the rest of your life. And every year on your baby’s birthday I want you to say, “Happy Birthday Baby and Happy Birth Day to me.” Because birth isn’t something that is done to you. You do birth. You do it your way. That might be with all the drugs, none of the drugs or a bit here and a bit there. But one thing for absolute certain is you are going to feel things. And I don’t mean your baby moving down and crowning. I mean joy and fear and love and anger and exhaustion and a whole load of other shit wrapped up in a multi-coloured bow.
My coach recently said to me that if E=Energy then “e-motions” are just Energy in Motion. Can you remember in second year science learning that we can’t destroy energy. We can only change it. So if we go into birth knowing that those emotions are going to rise, I want you to lean into them. Allow them, use them. Without judgement, accept those emotions into your birth and let that energy move. Channel that energy into something really brilliant and do what is right for you and your baby.
Do it with all your strength and all your might.
What is a Brilliant Birth?
We ain’t aiming for an alright birth. We ain’t just getting through it. We are reaching for the fucking stars. When you really allow yourself the big ostentatious dreams of a brilliant birth, the stakes are high. But that is what I am here for. I don’t have a crystal ball. But I don’t need one to tell you that brilliant birth is possible. I know it. I’ve been told it. I’ve witnessed it. But a huge part of the ask is really knowing yourself, what a brilliant birth looks like for you. And then holding firm on the things that might threaten that.
You don’t get away with saying all I want is a healthy baby here. Because I don’t think a healthy baby is enough. I want you to want more for you.
At The Brilliant Birth Club we are stepping into our power and becoming someone’s mum. This tiny little person who will rely on you for so, so much. There will be times when you’ll think I can’t. I just can’t hold this much all at once. I can’t hold all of these emotions for me and for my baby. But you can. Because you are brilliant.
Those emotions are just energy in motion. Nothing stays the same for very long in motherhood. Not the good nor the bad. But you know that already. Sometimes though, we need someone to hold the space so we can really realise that we already know exactly what to do.
And all that is kind of thereabouts, what a hypnobirthing coach does and is.